Change of Direction
In most all military boot camps, one of the first things a new recruit is taught is close order drill…or for the non-military type…marching. The drill instructors use drill to teach discipline by instilling habits of precision and instant obedience to orders, to build unit cohesion, and to provide simple formations from which combat formations may be readily assumed.
First the first few weeks the recruits spend hours upon hours learning drill through continuous repetition. Some movements are quickly grasped while others are quite painful. I remember clearly the two most difficult drill movements for me and my unit to learn: “About Face” and “To the Rear”.
“About Face” is a standing individual movement while “To the Rear” is a marching movement used by the entire unit. Both drill movements serve the simple purpose of turning the individual or the unit 180 degrees in the other direction.
History provides us with great examples of men and women who have chosen to change the course of their life for the better. I was sharing with my children recently the story of a man, living centuries before, who changed the negative direction his life was taking. His name was Paul, formerly known as Saul of Tarsus. Known as a relentless persecutor of the early church, he was determined to stop the spread of Christianity. But after a dramatic conversion on the road to Damascus, Paul devoted the rest of his life to preaching the gospel and building the church. Today we remember him as a missionary, church planter, and author of thirteen New Testament epistles.
For my boot camp platoon, Platoon 1003, once we individually and collectively learned the difficult tasks of changing our direction we were able to move on to advanced training, graduate as Marines, and fulfill our purpose in serving others. And as Paul clearly shows us, it doesn’t matter how far off course you’ve gotten; it isn’t too late to change your direction.
Leadership Minute: Resource Management
This is the first in a continuation of what I am calling Leadership Minutes….basically a quick read to provide some food for thought on certain areas and aspects of leadership.
“Time is at once the most valuable and the most perishable of all our possessions.”
When we think of all the resources we manage (money, facilities, staff, volunteers, etc….) how many of us realize OUR time is probably the most precious of them all.
Here are a few ideas to help you better manage your day.
Just Say No. When is the last time you truly evaluated your schedule. What are you doing that you no longer need to do. In his book, Spiritual Leadership, Henry Blackaby states that many leaders are generally susceptible to the “messiah complex.” They can easily come to believe that their involvement is the only guarantee of success for an activity. On the other hand, healthy leaders graciously, yet regularly, say no to many opportunities presented to them.
Delegate. The quantity of work you can accomplish is in direct proportion to your ability to delegate. When you refuse to delegate, you limit the success and productivity of your team to the level of your own physical stamina, your own creativity, and your own intelligence. (Remember the lesson from Moses: Exod 18:13-26). Delegation not only helps you focus on your priorities it is a necessary tool for the leadership development of your team.
Set a routine. Is your day to day practice set? Has it devolved to a point where you are at the mercy of everything around you – everything but your goals and priorities? As a newly promoted Captain, I remember one of my senior Sergeants telling me, “Sir, if you do not make a plan for your time, someone else will.”
As many of you may be enjoying a brief break during the summer, now is the time to take a hard look at your upcoming fall schedule…it will be here before you know it. To quote Blackaby again: “God does not give people more than they can handle, but people regularly assume responsibilities for things they should not be doing.”
16 Years of Marriage
Sixteen years ago today, Liz and I stood at the altar and made a commitment to each other for the rest of our lives.
Here is a brief snapshot of our blessed life together since that day:
Kids:
2 boys…who are very much boys
Animals:
2 dogs
0 cats (this number will remain the same)
A dozen or so lizards…maybe more…maybe less…don’t ask
9 inter-state moves
12 houses
Too many training exercises, military operations, and deployments to count…
Tears…many
Laughs…many more
On the day I left for bootcamp in 1996, Liz handed me a small leather bound Bible. She told me she had underlined one verse that spoke from her heart. I spent the next 2 hours on the plane looking for her message. I found it in the Book of Ruth.
3 years of long distance dating and 16 years of marriage and she has never wavered from those words.
To the girl of my dreams, my bride of 16 years; I hope you know:
You still fascinate and inspire me.
You still influence me for the better.
You’re still the object of my desire.
Thank you for another wonderful day of marriage.
Courage Under Fire
July 1st 1863….
152 years ago today, the largest military conflict in North American history began when Union and Confederate forces collided at Gettysburg, Pennsylvania. The epic battle lasted three days and resulted in a retreat to Virginia by Robert E. Lee’s Army of Northern Virginia.
Throughout my military career, and even still today, I am an avid consumer of military history. When it comes to the Battle at Gettysburg I have continually been awed by the decisions and actions of Colonel Joshua Chamberlain. I have read Michael Shaara’s Pulitzer-prize winning novel “The Killer Angels” and watched Jeff Daniels remarkably play Chamberlain in the movie “Gettysburg.” However it was not until I had the privilege of taking a group of my Marines to the actual battlefield that I truly understood this tragic conflict.
Together we climbed the slope of Little Round top and walked the path of Pickett’s Charge. We studied the defensive positions on Cemetery Hill and continually discussed the decision making of opposing Generals Lee and Meade. From human factors to combined arms, we immersed ourselves in the significance of this three day battle.
During a moment of reflection on the hallowed ground of Little Round Top, I paused to think about the decisions Chamberlain had to make. Against all odds, he stubbornly and courageously rallied his forces. Many historians claim his actions saved the day and possibly turned the tide of the Civil War. For his actions, he was awarded the Medal of Honor. His citation simply stated: “For daring heroism and great tenacity in holding his position on the Little Round Top against repeated assaults, and carrying the advance position on Big Round Top.”
It has been five years since I was last at Gettysburg. I no longer view Chamberlain’s actions through the lens of a fighter leader. I now view his actions through the lens of a father leader. The battlefield I must now protect and hold is called my home. At stake is the hearts and minds of my wife and children.
The world will continually tell my wife and children lies about their identity.
They will be continually be presented with expectations that drown their worth.
They will continually be attacked….
But like Chamberlain I will not back down. I will continue to love, lead and serve well. I will continue to point them to the Father who created us for His glory.
I have always been amazed at how one man can change the course of a battle. Husbands and Fathers….more than ever before, I believe it is our duty to now do so.
Will you join me?
Want to Change the World: Make Your Bed
Every year around May and June, I am routinely intrigued and sometimes entertained at the number of celebrity commencement speakers at universities across our country. Some commencement speeches are dull, some are grandiose, and some get made into Top 40 hits. But some, some are truly motivational. Last year was one of those moments.
In 2014, the University of Texas at Austin invited Admiral William H. McRaven to share his philosophy of leadership with the recent graduates. At the time of his remarks, Admiral McRaven was serving as the head of the U.S. Special Operations Command. Before commanding all of our nation’s most elite warriors, McRaven, a Navy SEAL for 36-years, had been at the tip of the spear in the war on terror since 2001. He had commanded a squadron in the legendary Naval Special Warfare Development Group, better known as SEAL Team Six, and even oversaw the planning and execution of the raid that killed Osama bin Laden. On this day, he choose to share ten lessons learned from basic SEAL training. Although all were compelling I found lesson #1 especially convicting.
Lesson #1: “If you want to change the world….Make Your Bed”
McRaven shared that how every morning in basic SEAL training, his instructors would show up in his barracks room and the first thing they would inspect was his bed.
McRaven elaborated, “If you make your bed every morning you will have accomplished the first task of the day. It will give you a small sense of pride and it will encourage you to do another task and another and another. By the end of the day, that one task completed will have turned into many tasks completed. Making your bed will also reinforce the fact that little things in life matter. If you can’t do the little things right, you will never do the big things right…..And, if by chance you have a miserable day, you will come home to a bed that is made—that you made—and a made bed gives you encouragement that tomorrow will be better.”
McRaven’s statement may sound a little far-fetched, but his advice is undoubtedly worth considering: if you want to make an impact on a large scale, you have to be comfortable making it on a small scale too.
This made me wonder: As a parent and spouse, how often do I overlook the importance of the small mundane tasks.
Do I spend more time planning for a great trip or vacation but neglect the blessing of an early afternoon off with the kids?
Do I shoot for the moon on my wedding anniversary but totally miss the target on scheduling regular date nights?
Do I overlook the importance of the hours I have today while focusing on my 5 year plan?
Like Admiral McRaven, I too am convinced that we all need to be reminded that success in most parts of our life revolves around doing the simple things really well.
Do you want to have an impact on this generation…start by making your bed!
(After making your bed, I highly recommend reading the other 9 leadership lessons McRaven presented that day http://news.utexas.edu/2014/05/16/admiral-mcraven-commencement-speech)
Call of Duty: A Message to Dads
“Duty is the sublimest word in our language. … You cannot do more. You should never wish to do less.” General Robert E. Lee
On June 15th 1775, George Washington accepted an assignment to lead the Continental Army. Washington had been managing his family’s plantation and serving in the Virginia House of Burgesses when the second Continental Congress unanimously voted to have him lead the revolutionary army.
After accepting the position, Washington sat down and wrote a letter to his wife, Martha, in which he revealed his concerns about his new role. He expressed uneasiness and worry at leaving her alone. He shared with her that he had updated his will and hoped that he would be home by the fall. Washington’s call to duty would not allow him to return “home” for almost 6 years.
As I ponder Washington’s life and his call to duty, I reflect on the lessons I have learned during my time as a Marine. I’ve learned that men will work hard for promotions. I’ve learned that they will work even harder for a great leader. But I’ve also learned that men will work hardest of all when they are dedicated to a calling…when they are dedicated to their duty.
Gentlemen – as fathers – we have an enormous but beautiful duty to shoulder. Our duty: training and equipping our children to live out their lives for the Gospel.
This Father’s Day, I challenge every man to do his duty to those who are in his care and toward whatever task is in his trust, regardless of the personal cost. I pause, myself, to reflect upon ways in which I can serve my family better. I fear I may one day wish I had done more than I did. Let us have no regrets!
Duty recognizes a cause greater than one’s self; it is choosing the right thing rather than the convenient thing. When your duty as a dad calls, how will you answer?
My Son’s First Date
In mid-August 2010, at the ripe old age of 5, my oldest son went on his first date. He approached me about a week prior and told me of his intentions. I agreed but offered a few simple rules for him to follow:
#1. Be a gentle-man. Open the door. Give sincere compliments. Have good table manners. Always be characterized by the needs of others before your own.
#2. Make eye contact and listen. Show her she is important by paying attention to her. Truly listening to her shows respect.
#3. Pick up the check. The guy doesn’t always have to pay for everything; however on the first date he should. Not only is this polite it also sets the tone for his understanding of his future role as provider. (Disclaimer: Due to strict child labor laws, Hunter was limited on his ability to generate any income so I spotted him a few bucks. Liz also had to help him figure out the tip but overall he did a good job.)
As our boys mature, Liz and I will have additional conversations with them about boundaries (physical and emotional), about leadership and intentions, and plenty about respect and purity. More important than all these conversations is the example that I provide. How I treat their Mom will set the tone for how they view women. Through my words and actions, for better or worse, I will teach them what respectful behavior is.
One day each of my boys will fall in love with a beautiful young lady and begin an exciting new chapter in their book of life; however Chapter One will be always be dedicated to the first girl they ever loved…their Mom.
My Grandmother and a Delta Force Commander
In his best-selling book, The Mission, the Men, and Me, Pete Blaber, a former Delta Force Commander, describes his 3M thought process and priorities when confronted with a different or complex situation.
He describes the first (M) as the mission. This is your organization’s purpose for existing. It should guide everyone’s actions, decisions, and convictions.
The second (M) is the men. These are the individuals in your organization who will bear upon their shoulders the responsibility of accomplishing the unit’s mission. You must lead them but you must also listen to them. More importantly, as Blaber makes clear, the most important way you can take care of your people is by having the moral courage to do what is right by them.
The last (M) is me. The final (M) comes last for a reason. A true leader will always put his/her organization’s mission and people before their own well-being or advancement. As Blaber states, “you have to take care of yourself, BUT only after you have taken care of the mission and the men.”
Although Blaber’s leadership priorities are founded and practiced in a military environment, I believe these principles can also be applied to leadership outside of the military as well. In fact, I witnessed this style of leadership long before I ever joined the military…..from my Grandmother.
A blog post would not do justice to the life of selfless service my Grandmother has demonstrated. Under the roof of her home, she has raised 4 daughters, multiple grandchildren, and currently even a great-grandchild. After a stroke took the mind and part of the body of my Grandfather, I watched as she cared for him with the same love and commitment as newlyweds.
What do my Grandmother and a Delta Force Commander have in common? A leadership style based upon the shared experiences of sacrifice. A life of putting the goals of the organization or family first.
What about you? If one was to assess the priorities of your leadership would it truly be:
- The mission
- The men
- Then me
We All Have Super Powers: Part Three
This is the last in a series of three posts on the different types of super powers we all have.
I previously provided my thoughts on the power of our words and the power of our example. However this super power may be the most influential:
Super Power #3: The Power of Your Legacy
What is the best funeral you have ever been to?
Crazy question huh? I thought about this question a few weeks ago while listening to a sermon by our Missions Pastor, Omar Garcia (gobeyondblog.com).
Unfortunately I have been to a decent amount of funerals and military memorial services. Although each of these services involve mourning, there are some that are profoundly celebratory. What makes these services different than the others? It’s the legacy left behind.
Birth of a Legacy: During a long nighttime stakeout in the spring of 1980, U.S. Customs Agent Tommy Austin tells Arizona Department of Public Safety Officer Ron Cox his problem.
His wife’s friend has a small son named Chris who is probably going to die of leukemia. The seven-year-old boy dreams of becoming a police officer. Running into bureaucratic hesitation at Customs, Austin asks Cox if maybe DPS can do something.
Together they enlist the help of others who hear about Chris’ story. They arrange for Chris to spend a day as an honorary DPS Officer. He rides on a police motor cycle and patrol car and even flies in a DPS helicopter. Four days later, the young boy passes away.
As Cox and Austin leave the hospital that sad day, they discuss in awe how so many people stepped up to grant this young boy his final wish. They wonder if they could do the same for other kids with terminal illnesses. From their desire to serve others the Make-A-Wish Foundation was born. Today this foundation grants a wish to a sick child every 38 minutes. For these men, their legacy of service will inspire others for generations.
For better or for worse, we will all leave a legacy. This legacy will be much more than the words in our obituary. It will be defined by the impact we have on the lives of others. Our Creator has handed us a portfolio of valuable gifts. Do we use them for self-fulfillment or self-sacrifice?
In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus encourages us to seek first His kingdom. What do you seek first? The answer to this question will determine your legacy.
We All Have Super Powers: Part Two
This is the second in a series of three posts on the different types of super powers we all have. My definition of a super power: the ability to shape the life of others….for better or worse.
Super Power #2: The Power of Your Example
“Example is the school of mankind, we learn at no other.”
This picture was taken a little over 3 years ago. Like all pictures, this photo tells a story.
What you see in this picture is two boys dressed up for church. You see two boys who paused long enough for mom to snap a picture. Their hair is still somewhat combed and they have yet to spill anything on themselves….or others.
What you don’t see in this photo is that they HAD to have those specific ties. They HAD to have a navy blue sports coat. They HAD to dress just like this…….why…..because that’s how daddy dressed for church on this day.
As I look at this picture (and many others like it) I am not only reminded of how fast they grow but I am reminded of something even more urgent…..the power of my example.
In his work, Lincoln on Leadership, Donald T. Phillips provides examples of leadership strategies used by one of our nation’s greatest presidents. Of all the guidelines, ideas, and generalities on Lincoln’s leadership, I find the simple concept of “Honest Abe” to be the most profound. President Lincoln was guided by his moral compass. He understood the power of his example would speak volumes to a nation in need.
Whether in the ministry or the military a constant question emerges…how can I be a better leader, parent, spouse, or friend? My answer remains the same: “Model the behavior that you wish to see.”
As a Father, Husband, Pastor, and Friend, I must remain aware that my personal example in speech, love, service, and faith will speak more to those in my life than any words written on a blog. As you look at those in your life, are you providing the right example? Does your example shape the life of others for better or for worse?
I’m not perfect. Neither are my family or friends. Mistakes will be made and sin will be encountered. Even then, the offer of repentance and the gift of forgiveness will demonstrate the greatest example of all…..grace.
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Brad Flurry 